Dharma - duty towards parents and wife

AspireKarmaYogi · 10-10-2009, 11:56 AM

Namaste, I have a long standing question that I have been struggling with in my daily sadhana. what is more important as per the concepts of Yoga on ones dharma. Is our duty towards our parents higher than our duty towards wife and children? I am asking becuase when it comes to prioritizing work in life this guidance will help me follow my dharma and keep my family happy.
Thank you!

justwannabe · 10-10-2009, 12:07 PM

how can we tell you that? Duty makes it sound as if it is something you have to do. Jesus said "a man can do all the works in the world, but hath not love and it profits him nothing"

AspireKarmaYogi · 10-10-2009, 01:39 PM

Namaste, i totally agree with you (justwannabe), maybe i didnt put it rightly in words. i dont look at serving anyone as an obligation. but in life sometimes we face with dilemma especially when it comes to expectations of parents and wife, though both might be right from thier own perspective. as a householder to balance both ends requires more than just the wish and commitment to serve them well. i was looking at some guidance as per vedas to resolve such situations. vedas talk about matru devta bhava and pirtru devta bhava. they also talk about treating wife well and fulfilling her wishes, but i am little confused on what comes first in priority.
Thank you!

justwannabe · 10-10-2009, 09:42 PM

well we dont know your situation. Vedas could say to serve parents and the parents want you to punch someone in the face, while the wife suggests you let it go. Both may feel they are right butyou are the one taking action, then my suggestion is to ask your heart. Maybe first priority for you is what you feel would be the greater good for all, and in one situation you may side/serve the parents and down the road you side with/serve the wife and children.
my best to you
brother Nei

InnerAthlete · 10-12-2009, 10:27 AM

Without much fanfare....

it seems to be you've taken on or accepted a level of responsibility to be a householder and have a family. So I believe these obligations you've accepted and chosen need to be honored first, with the obligation to parents second. Though managing this can still be difficult. You could not possibly neglect your child or your wife.

There could be mitigating circumstances of course and yes indeed this is something you should find for yourself in your heart center where the vocalization of svadharma emanates.

Hubert · 10-13-2009, 01:56 PM

See them not in their roles as parents, child, or wife. Than give everyone what everyone needs. Some need to be awaken from their identification with their roles, and some need to be left in it. Do what is best for everyone.

First lose the identification with being a son, a father and a husband. (This does not necessarily mean you are a bad son, father or husband - you even become better, not being blinded by attachment)

Dream Yogi · 10-31-2009, 07:24 PM

don't you (you do, don't you ? you do ) know the answers to your own questions ? but you need to hear them spoken from someone else so you feel stronger in your convictions ?

follow your emotional guidance system and don't take consultations from those who contradict it.

Xamilo · 11-05-2009, 10:08 PM

Honor your parents. But your family (wife-kids) is your responsibility...

10-10-2009, 12:07 PM	#2
justwannabe saptashata Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 731	how can we tell you that? Duty makes it sound as if it is something you have to do. Jesus said "a man can do all the works in the world, but hath not love and it profits him nothing" __________________ pull my finger

10-10-2009, 09:42 PM	#4
justwannabe saptashata Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 731	well we dont know your situation. Vedas could say to serve parents and the parents want you to punch someone in the face, while the wife suggests you let it go. Both may feel they are right butyou are the one taking action, then my suggestion is to ask your heart. Maybe first priority for you is what you feel would be the greater good for all, and in one situation you may side/serve the parents and down the road you side with/serve the wife and children. my best to you brother Nei __________________ pull my finger

10-12-2009, 10:27 AM	#5
InnerAthlete Mostly Good Egg Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 1,780	Without much fanfare.... it seems to be you've taken on or accepted a level of responsibility to be a householder and have a family. So I believe these obligations you've accepted and chosen need to be honored first, with the obligation to parents second. Though managing this can still be difficult. You could not possibly neglect your child or your wife. There could be mitigating circumstances of course and yes indeed this is something you should find for yourself in your heart center where the vocalization of svadharma emanates. __________________ Gordon Kaplan Certified Purna Yoga Teacher (CPYT) Yoga Alliance RYT-500 International Association of Yoga Therapists (IAYT) M.S. Kinesiology, Indiana University http://www.teamyoga.com http://www.yogamojodojo.com http://www.innerathlete.net/forum

10-13-2009, 01:56 PM	#6
Hubert sahásra Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Romania Posts: 1,173	See them not in their roles as parents, child, or wife. Than give everyone what everyone needs. Some need to be awaken from their identification with their roles, and some need to be left in it. Do what is best for everyone. First lose the identification with being a son, a father and a husband. (This does not necessarily mean you are a bad son, father or husband - you even become better, not being blinded by attachment) __________________ "wahetever we deny or embrace, for worse or for better, we belong togheter" Pat Benatar Last edited by Hubert; 10-13-2009 at 02:20 PM.

10-10-2009, 11:56 AM	#1
AspireKarmaYogi trí Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Seattle Posts: 3	Namaste, I have a long standing question that I have been struggling with in my daily sadhana. what is more important as per the concepts of Yoga on ones dharma. Is our duty towards our parents higher than our duty towards wife and children? I am asking becuase when it comes to prioritizing work in life this guidance will help me follow my dharma and keep my family happy. Thank you!

10-10-2009, 01:39 PM	#3
AspireKarmaYogi trí Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Seattle Posts: 3	Namaste, i totally agree with you (justwannabe), maybe i didnt put it rightly in words. i dont look at serving anyone as an obligation. but in life sometimes we face with dilemma especially when it comes to expectations of parents and wife, though both might be right from thier own perspective. as a householder to balance both ends requires more than just the wish and commitment to serve them well. i was looking at some guidance as per vedas to resolve such situations. vedas talk about matru devta bhava and pirtru devta bhava. they also talk about treating wife well and fulfilling her wishes, but i am little confused on what comes first in priority. Thank you!

10-31-2009, 07:24 PM	#7
Dream Yogi trimshát Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 38	don't you (you do, don't you ? you do ) know the answers to your own questions ? but you need to hear them spoken from someone else so you feel stronger in your convictions ? follow your emotional guidance system and don't take consultations from those who contradict it.

11-05-2009, 10:08 PM	#8
Xamilo pañcaashát Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 57	Honor your parents. But your family (wife-kids) is your responsibility...