Funny Darkness

[SWilkin676]

I have just begun meditating this past few months. I was seeing a Buddhist psychologist to try to remove blocks due to hidden memories and such but haven't had funds to continue.

(I sometimes use guided meditations and lately have just trying to be no thoughts and concentrate on the breath)

My problem is and has been that sometimes I can meditate and lose consciousness - not like normal sleep - no dreams or movement. Wake up sitting upright (or whatever position i started in) and not drowsy just a change in state from black nothing to there. When I was doing guided body scan meditation I would black out parts of the dialog in a very frustrating way so that I could never see where I was in the meditation. (this occurred after the psychologist concluded my root chakra was blocked - it was like my subconscious was saying it wasn't going to get caught at that again)

I do seem to benefit from the meditation even if I black it out.

The other question I have regards the colors you see when you close your eyes and meditate. When the psychologist helped guide me through a painful memory that arose and was finished with it the color inside my eyes was white. Other times it is other colors and shapes. When a friend was doing a healing on me I also saw white light inside my eyes. What is this?

Susan of a thousand questions.