Hey Zo,
I can appreciate where you are coming from, I see my past in your words. Now I attend a church, do I belive everything the preacher says? We dance and sing, how I look at it, they are honoring Creation, the Creator. So I go to see the beaty in it and the "ugliness" I leave it alone. If someone wants to force beliefs on me, ok, they can try, and they are dong what they feel is best.
You said
But my parent-in-laws are sweet and kind and tender, how does one say no to them? It's once a year, I should just be polite and go, right? On the other hand, I abhor the church on whole, it's divisions, and denominations further splintering instead of trying to join together-so why go?
That is great that you have sweet, kind, and tender parent in laws. so you abhor church and its divisions, who is dividing, you or the church? You rather the churches join together, if you went would that be joining togethor?
I once read a quote, "take what fallls on your heart and discard the rest"
my best to you Zo
brother Neil