Thank you Gordon, Hubert, and GreenLove--delayed responses or not, your posts are still insightful. This is a conversation that will continue to go on and on in my own mind as each encroaching situation will be different.
Gordon, writes "I would not, however, judge a religion by the people who practice it." This is an area of weakness for me, but the reciprocal of that is true as well; that I judge people by their religions. I am in a poetry class and as soon I saw a peer with a WWJD bracelet, I initially balked at the religious tone in his work (though I separated that from the critique work I did on his packet of poems).
As for my husband, he is a non-believer, but not an atheist. So, the Christmas church once ever 2-4 years is something he willingly acquiesces to as a means of honoring his parents. I have never known him to go, even before we were married, or courting.
Another thought comes to mind, that maybe my going last year was so reactive because I felt trapped--a new bride (2 months in) at her in-laws house for the first time; in-laws who were excited that their non-believing son married a student who attended a private Christian university. (I was a believer once.) Though I did let his mom know this last August that I am not a believer anymore--she asked and I had to share honestly.
Greenlove, that is much more tolerance on your behalf than I can currently muster. I've dated people who were opposed to my bisexuality and I did not carry the relationship further, because I could not be with someone who found that to be something ugly or wrong. It's not like self-centeredness or a foul mouth, that a person should adjust, bi/homosexuality is something different altogether, lovely even (or so I believe). To be honest, I do know whether to applaud your tolerance or grab you by the shoulders and ask if you are crazy!