Falling in love with yoga instructor

Spirituality
#21

Today is the start of the 11th week that I have not seen him. It is my vacation now, and I had originally wanted to travel abroad so that I can stop thinking about him during my free time. However, I finally recognise that I am simply running away from my self-denial if I choose to go for holidays. I should learn to pick up the courage to face my fears. Staying put gives me the most empowering time to face that lonliness that I usually get from a long vacation.

I am going to go to a new yoga center to learn yoga,and like what many of you had said, I need to practise the art of forgiveness.I understand only through time,will I allow forgiveness to sink in.

I just logged into the website to see the schedule of my ex-yoga center. His name is still there and they now have new sequences, new yoga classes. There is a new “partner yoga” class. The name is him and another master. My heart sinks at the thought of how those excited silly female members are going to rush in to see 2 masters doing partner yoga and go ga-ga over them. It sucks. I feel a deep sinking feeling again- agony. I can’t believe just seeing the name on the schedule can make me feel this way.

I feel tempted at times to go back there to take a look at him (as my membership is still valid for another few months). But I know I probably can’t. The smell, the music, the ambience , everything in that place makes me weak. Ironically, the time that my membership ends, will approximately be around the time his contract ends . Sometimes I wonder if I can handle the fact that he won’t be around anymore when he really goes back to his home country.

I thank u all for the wisdom shared.It’s a journey I will have to take.

Btw, it is amazing how my life is returning to the way it used to be. I think this is what u call “full circle”. It is such a shame. It made it seem like nothing has happened when in fact, I’ve been thru so much hurt.

#22

Dear friends.

Sexual or Lustful thoughts never touch a yogi. If the teacher go through such a fall, it is also the destruction for his students.

In my feelings, when you sit beside a yogi you may get intense calmness and peaceful mind. Find such a yogi.

#23

I know what u mean. He said he’s just a normal guy, like any guy, has his needs. He is not yet a master in that sense. I think I just met a very wrong teacher.

#24

Friend – someone who takes advantage of an emotionally intimate situation to sleep around is a wrong human. The context of him teaching just raises the standard and the opportunity to fail.

I wish you every strength in this trial.

#25

Dear Yogini spirit,

this may not contribute to helping you, but I am curious here, how old are you?

#26

I am in my early 20s. In a way, he was like my real first love because I’ve never been more comfortable with a guy other than him. Actually I’m on the road to recovery, I really am. But whenever holidays come ,I will start thinking of him day and night.It became so intense that I would even dream of him.
I know a lot of people would say that this affair is not forced by him and why should I act like I’m the victim or innocent party.
But I need to let people know that when a girl falls in love, u see everything in that man as perfect, and you only expect love in return. Of course, in this case,he didn’t return me with anything more than just disappointment.
I wasn’t able to let go of this stupidity, this thought pattern that I’ve grown accustomed to.
But I know I can’t step back into that studio anymore, it just won’t add to any more happiness within me, and I also cannot act like how I used to be, sitting at the members lounge area and wait for him to approach me to talk – I understand that all these won’t work to my benefit anymore.

#27

oh dear , if your age not that young i will think that ur my China girl friend, she also has the same misfortune as u , to fall head over heal to a very handsome Indian teacher , he told her from the very beginning that one day when he marry he’ll only by parent arrangement to Indian girl. But love is blind she ignor that and keep attached to him like iron to magnet.

Relationship broke after he got another more young and beautiful girl. She’s so down and swear that she will never near yoga again.

A pity , for a single track love she gave up yoga.

My advise is now may be tough to forget , but as time goes by ,when look back that will become a small epidsol in your life , your future is actually very board with other aspects and try meditation every day u will benefit from it.

#28

I truly look forward to the day where I can look back and laugh at all that I’ve been through. I had been depress for 1 year plus because of him. Luckily Yoga didn’t cease in me.Instead, it made me want to pursue even harder to seek the truth in real yoga.

It’s the agony of wanting to see him again, of going to the old studio again…it’s so painful.All it takes is just 1 wrong move, and i’ll find myself back to that old studio, and i don’t want that to happen.

There’s this fear in me. If he leaves, say a few months later, I won’t ever get to see him again, will I get use to it? Will I be like mourning for death? I don’t want .I’m afraid of losing him physically. Yet I know I don’t have the courage to see him again (although very tempted to). I feel really vulnerable.

#29

[QUOTE=yogini_spirit;19706]I truly look forward to the day where I can look back and laugh at all that I’ve been through.[QUOTE]

And that day will come with certainty. Remember, even on the rainiest days the sun is shining bright beyond the clouds.

#30

I started dreaming very often about him recently. In my dream, I saw a huge yoga studio (that never existed in real life). I had dream about this studio for the 2nd time already. I still feel the excitement, the joy, the happiness in seeing him, even in my dream. In reality, this is a guy I’ve never contacted for 3 months already, and he also has not contacted me at all. I guess it’s all over? I miss him.

#31

I think I’ve forgiven him. I met a tarot card reader and she has told me everything that I needed to know.Now I understand that he was here for a purpose, maybe to teach me a lesson on what real love is.He is not meant for me, and i need to let go, in order to receive the real love of my life. I feel free now. I really do.

#32

so glad for u that u finally let go the lead in ur heart

wish u a very best from now on

#33

Yes! Congratulations. Remember to review what you learned if the habit of ‘missing him’ turns up again.
I am very happy for this!

#34

Love could be confused with attachment.

Pure love does’nt need loved back.It just flows naturally, effortlessly, unimpeded, giving without needing anything back,gratification,recognition,love,sex , whatever, in return. It just gives ,regardless.

It must be tough,hhahaha,being a good-looking male yoga instructor. All that attention. I guess someone’s gotta do it, though.This is a thought i have had for some time.What do you do?.Well, You live by the yamas and niyamas- if you don’t do this, actually other aspects of your yoga practice start falling apart too.So If you work on these, cultivating purity of action, motive,thought deed,energy through all available yoga means including self-inquiry (such as the kleshas) etc your asanas will improve- this is a yoga fact.

#35

What does the male yoga instructor do if all his students have the hots for him?

And he finds it diifcult to keep his libido under control.?

Well personally i would recommend the practice of brahmacharya or tantra,where he has desires but he is’nt enslaved by them and he does’nt confuse showing love exclusively with sex.

#36

I can understand to a certain extent what you’re going through. I’m 29 and my yoga teacher who is very handsome and 40 had a thing. You need to talk to friends and find other teachers who are supportive . I suggest going to other teacher ( women) who can help tap into something else. Hey at least you didn’t act on it. I personally had a romantic kiss with my teacher and even fooled around a bit until we decided not to compromise our friendship and my yoga practice which IS very important to us . Still the connection is there but platonic. I still attend his class and in fact my practice continues to advance but I don’t make much eye contact with him ( the connection is too intense) but he does compliment and push me in a compassionate way.

However what’s important here is you! If you can offer your practice ask your supreme god what’s the right path , that cosmic force I promise will work you into a better place. I’m still strong and happy. I do agree that we can’t put our Yoga teacher on pedestals. We are all human after all.

p.s. my yoga teacher is totally hooking up with random students.

#37

Happy to hear that you have come out of what you dint deserved. Remember that life dosnt end with one person or at one point. Life has to go on. We cant stop at one stage, thinking of past, we have to move otherwise there is no meaning of life.:slight_smile:

#38

Ah, falling in love. What a wonderfully miserable experience …

If not for the misery, it would have been short term divine madness, followed by the usual grey of everyday human existence.
But you had a chance to know That You, who is smiling while you are the most miserable.

Human expresions of compassion can only do so much. But a smile form Your Self … that worths years of misery.

#39

I still get angry and a bit emotional when i learn something about him in other forums. I dont even know why I still feel something for a man who doesn’t even love me anymore. My memories still want to stay put at the time when he was kind and nice to me.

#40

That’s what memories do. It’s their job. Review what you have learned, and hold on to the context of your whole life to keep those memories in perspective.